It’s more than probable that you’ve heard some version of the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. For the sake of the cause, allow me to give a brief summary. A young girl with blond hair and an entitlement complex is wandering around alone in the middle of a bear-infested forest. She happens upon a well-stocked and fully-furnished house and decides to make herself at home. Upon entering the house, she finds 3 bowls of porridge and she decides to help herself. One bowl is too hot, another too cold, but the third is just right, so she eats the whole bowl. Having filled her stomach, she heads into the living room to sit and let her stolen meal settle. There, she finds 3 chairs. 2 fail to meet her sitting standards, but the third is just right, so she pops a squat. The chair breaks under her weight, so the girl meanders around the house, looking for somewhere to rest. She discovers a bedroom with 3 beds. One bed is too hard, another too soft, but the third is just right, so she settles for a nap. As she sleeps, the 3 bears who live in the house come home and find someone has broken in, stolen their food, vandalized their chairs, and is currently squatting in their bedroom. Goldilocks awakens, sees the bears, and flees the scene.
I have several issues with this story. My biggest issue is that I have no idea what the moral of the story is supposed to be! What is the lesson this story is meant to communicate? A not-so-brief Google search revealed that the story is supposed to demonstrate that actions have consequences. I don’t see it. If the bears had eaten Goldilocks, the messaging would be clear. But, as it stands, homegirl just runs away startled, with a full belly, a little bit of sleep, and a story.
According to The Goldilocks Principle, Goldilocks was just looking to live her best life. The consequences of her actions are someone else’s problem.
The lesson most clearly communicated in this story is found in the oft repeated “just right.” We can find what we need, what we want, and what we believe we deserve if we just keep looking. This lesson is so clear in the story that it has been developed into what is known as The Goldilocks Principle. In astronomy, the Goldilocks Principle states that there is a zone where the conditions are just right to sustain life. We find similar principles in economics, exercise physiology, academics, etc. The field may change, but the lesson remains the same: Everyone needs to find the space, place, and pace that is just right for them. It sounds good on the surface. The problem with this perspective, however, is it makes the villain in the story the victim. According to The Goldilocks Principle, Goldilocks was just looking to live her best life. The consequences of her actions are someone else’s problem. If anything, the bears were in the wrong for not being more considerate of her needs, feelings, and desires.
The Goldilocks Principle has been applied in many areas of life. We expect things just right for us. When they aren’t just right we feel wronged and are quick to run away. It’s extremely common when it comes to the ways we approach the church. That church is too cold; that church is too hot. That church is too soft; that church is too hard. That church is too big; that church is too little. That church is too traditional; that church is too contemporary. That church is too loud; that church is too quiet. That church goes too long; that church goes too short… Preference isn’t necessarily a problem. And, I am well aware that not all churches engage and meet the needs of all people equally. At the same time, we will never find the mythical Goldilocks church, a church that is just right all the time in all the ways. As a pastor friend once told me, “My very presence will mess up the perfection of any church I enter.” My biggest problem with us going all Goldilocks in relation to the church is it misses the point of the church.
As followers of Christ, we aren’t called to seek out messless churches that check all our boxes and are just right for us. Rather, we are to join together with others who recognize and admit the messes in their lives and that Jesus is the answer to overcoming that mess and becoming and doing more together.
As followers of Christ, we aren’t called to seek out messless churches that check all our boxes and are just right for us. Rather, we are to join together with others who recognize and admit the messes in their lives and that Jesus is the answer to overcoming that mess and becoming and doing more together. Hebrews 10:19-25 tells us that we are to come together in light of Christ’s sacrificial love to help one another draw near to God, hold tightly to hope, and provoke one another to love and good works. It won’t always feel just right, but it is necessary to help us live right.
If you aren’t part of a church, I encourage you to seek one out. If you have found a family of faith that has welcomed you and where you can make yourself at home, don’t be quick to run away when things get bumpy. You need good brothers and sisters to strengthen you, and they undoubtedly need you. So, to paraphrase the writer of Hebrews, let us NOT give up meeting together, but let us consider one another and come together to seek and serve Christ together.
