“If everyone else jumped off of a bridge, would you do it too?” This is the quintessential question asked when one has or is preparing to do something of questionable wisdom. I certainly remember being asked said query my fair share of times throughout my life. While I am well aware that the question is meant to be rhetorical with the assumed correct answer being a resounding “NO,” I often found myself thinking, “Obviously, yes. Isn’t that why we’re having this conversation in the first place?” I wondered if that was just me, or if others shared my sentiment, so I asked my wife, Robyn. Here’s how the conversation went.
Me: “Hey Rob. If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it?”
Rob: “It depends. Who else is jumping and where is the bridge located? If it’s over a nice lake and my friends are doing it, yeah, I’m probably jumping.”
If everyone was jumping off a bridge, she would absolutely do it if “everyone” included the right group of people, in the right place, at the right time.
I literally laughed out loud. I was a little more than surprised by her answer. She definitely understood the figurative nature of the question, but she answered it literally and extremely honestly. If everyone was jumping off a bridge, she would absolutely do it if “everyone” included the right group of people, in the right place, at the right time. It wasn’t the answer I was expecting, but I probably should have.
The truth is most of us have been asked a form of this question at some point in our lives. In most cases, it is a question that is asked after the fact, not in anticipation of an action. The question is asked because we have, in fact, already “jumped off of a bridge” with everyone else. It’s what is known as the “bandwagon fallacy.” It describes our tendency, as humans, to accept something as true or acceptable because it is widely accepted or popular. And, while there are times when it is simply about large-scale acceptance, I would argue that we’re most likely to jump on the “bandwagon” when trusted members of our social circle are doing and believing whatever is being presented. It’s what we more commonly refer to as peer pressure.
It’s all-too-easy for us to write peer pressure off as a primarily adolescent issue, but we all know better. Studies in social psychology show us that while most of us will hold the line a good portion of the time, the vast majority of us will succumb to the call to conformity sometimes. The studies show that people will conform under peer pressure with perfect strangers. How much more so with trusted friends? The simple fact is that our social circles will exert a level of influence over what we believe and what we do. Even the most careful and cautious among us (i.e. my wife) will go along with the crowd at certain times and in certain places.
The characters that we let into our lives will, at certain times and in certain ways, impact the character of our lives.
In 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul writes about the importance of understanding the influence of others in our lives. He notes the importance of positive peer pressure and the damaging power of negative peer pressure. In 1 Corinthians 11:1, he encourages his readers, “Follow my example as I follow Christ.” If we are going to conform our actions and attitudes, Jesus would be the ideal example. That’s an instance when jumping off the proverbial bridge is actually in one’s best interests. On the other hand, in 1 Corinthians 15:33, he warns, “Do not be deceived; ‘Bad company corrupts good character.” It is a struggle we will all inevitably face in our lives. The characters that we let into our lives will, at certain times and in certain ways, impact the character of our lives… For better or worse, wisdom or foolishness, love or hate, right or wrong.
If everyone jumped off a bridge would you do it? It depends on what the “bridge” is and who else is jumping, but there have been and will be moments in each of our lives when the answer is “Yes, I would jump.” Let us be careful then to surround ourselves with wise women and men of integrity and character so that when we take the leap following their lead we can have confidence that we’ll like where we land when it’s over.
