Perusing social media has become an important part of my daily routine. It allows me to stay connected with friends and family around the globe. It alerts me to goings on in the world in which they live. And while social media is a terrible source for finding fact-based world news, it does provide a very interesting window into the way people are processing said news. In recent months, and years, I have noticed a troubling trend. The failure in the lives and actions of others has become an acceptable defense for the failures in our own lives and the lives of those we support. Rather than attempting to maintain our own moral integrity, we appear to be more than content to argue that the morality of our opponents is somehow more defiled than ours. In a strange way, it takes me back to my childhood.
The failure in the lives and actions of others has become an acceptable defense for the failures in our own lives and the lives of those we support.
I have a sister who is two years younger than me. While I love her dearly today, and consider her to be one of my closest friends, this was not always the case. We went through a period of time during our pre-teen and teenage years when we were something close to enemies. We were polar opposites. I was a sensitive kid who had a strong desire to do what was right and to please the adults in my life. My sister didn’t care what anybody thought and didn’t want to be me. I was the good kid, so she determined that she would be the bad kid.
As previously noted, I was a sensitive kid, so when I did something wrong I was quick to admit it and to seek forgiveness. Again, my sister didn’t care what anyone thought and rather than seeking forgiveness she looked for a scapegoat, usually me. Many were the times when I would hear her arguing with my mother about what she had done wrong. And, many were the times when I would hear her scream, “JEREMY ISN’T PERFECT YOU KNOW!!!” She would then begin to recount any faults and failures she could conjure up in order to demonstrate how deplorable and duplicitous I was. Her best defense was to highlight my offenses.
My sister wasn’t all wrong about me, though. I was a good kid, but I knew I wasn’t perfect. I was also a very socially aware kid. I learned at an early age that I didn’t have to be a perfect kid; I just needed to be better than my sister. The secret to being the good kid wasn’t being perfect, but to admit my own imperfections in the shade of the failures of my less discerning sibling. The irony in this is that I was using the same tactics as her, I was just much better at it.
As I survey the landscape of modern culture, I am more and more convinced that we need to grow up.
Over the years something has happened that has fundamentally changed the way my sister and I interact with one another; WE GREW UP. In I Corinthians 13:11, Paul writes, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” Throughout I Corinthians 13 Paul is writing about love. As we grow and mature, it is reasonable to expect that we will learn to love others as we ourselves want to be loved. Time has a way of making us aware of our own faults and failures and impressing upon us our own need for grace. As I survey the landscape of modern culture, I am more and more convinced that we need to grow up.
There is a time and a place to lovingly confront the inconsistencies and failures we see in others. But, it should always be done in a spirit of love and grace with the intent of restoration. Too often, our recognition of the faults and failures of others is for the purpose of tearing them down. We attempt to beat them down below the perceived level of ourselves or those we support. Instead of pulling others down to our level, we should seek to lift them up with the love and grace of Jesus. I can’t think of an example when a problem was solved, or the world was made a better place, by amplifying the evil in the lives of others. I can, however, point to multiple examples of the world becoming better when the grace of Jesus is demonstrated.
*My sister would like me to inform that world that she was, prior to her teenage years, a sweet and sensitive kid as well. I will add that she has grown into an amazing woman and is a great sport. All information shared in this blog was shared with her permission and after she read it through. Thank you little sister!
Great Word!