The first time I applied for a job was soon after my fifteenth birthday. I had gone through the process of getting the required waiver and was certain of my ability to find gainful employment at one of the very respectable purveyors of fine foods in our area. My first choice was the gallery of culinary artistry known as Subway. I chose this particular establishment for three reasons. First, at the time, they referred to their employees as “sandwich artists,” and that particular title spoke to my very soul. Second, I had heard that employees were allowed one free sandwich during each shift they worked and for a 15-year-old young man, that was almost better than money. And third, they had placed a bright orange “HELP WANTED” sign in the window, so I knew they were hiring and figured they were desperate enough to give me a chance.
Truth be told, I really didn’t NEED a job. While my family was far from rich, my parents took care of my physical needs and even some of my wants. Getting a job was about more than getting a paycheck, though. It was about becoming a productive adult. Every child has heard the quintessential parental trump argument, “Well, when you’re an adult and you pay your own bills and own your own house, you can do whatever you want!” In my mind, and I would argue in the minds of many teenagers, getting a job was a giant leap towards joining the ranks of adulthood. Gainful employment would be a clear indicator that I had become a productive member of society.
In a strange twist of irony, I found that many senior adults have the same desire. They simply want to be viewed as valued and productive members of society. Interestingly enough, they find themselves on the opposite side of the timeline of life from teenagers. Instead of entering the workforce, senior adults are at the stage of life when one leaves the workforce. These senior adults have invested their lives in raising families, ascending the ladder in their chosen career, and making positive contributions to the world in which they live. Now, with families grown and their working days done, they find themselves looking for ways to stay connected and to remain productive and relevant in the world. At this stage of life, work is much less about income than output.
During my time in ministry, there has always been one constant. We are always in need of more adult help. As a youth pastor, I was constantly looking for trustworthy and mature adults who were willing to come alongside youth and young adults to assist them on their journey into adulthood and to help them form meaningful connections to the broader church body. For a long time, my primary targets were recent college graduates or parents of teenagers who were perceived as being “cool” or at least tolerable. Due to more than a few snarky comments and a moderate amount of finger wagging, I was not in a big hurry to integrate senior adults into my ministry team. However, this created some issues for me. First, it only served to maintain generational separation in our church. And second, it removed 50% or more of the adults in my church from the available talent pool. Compounding the issue, the adults removed were both the most experienced and available, due to the number of years lived and the realities of retirement.
Intergenerational relationships provide a wide variety of benefits within the church. However, we often see those benefits as being fairly one-sided. We find it easy to see what one generation can do for another; and, generally, we see the benefit older generations can provide to younger generations, but benefit often goes both ways. Relationships between various generations within the church are mutually beneficial in a variety of ways. Help is certainly wanted in many of our youth ministries, but help is often reciprocated. Here are a few ways engaging senior adults with youth and young adults can be beneficial in the local church.
Senior adults have valuable wisdom to pass on to the emerging generations.
It has been said that “Life is the best teacher.” In many respects, this is true. There are a great many things that are learned through personal experience. It only makes sense then, that those with the most experience will have gathered a wealth of knowledge. While technology puts a treasure trove of information at our very fingertips, it is of great benefit to hear and learn from people who have actually experienced realities in person. Youth are able to benefit immensely from senior adults who are able to pass on skills and understanding through both conversation and shared experiences. When I was the Youth Pastor at First Baptist Church of St. Albans, we had three older men who traveled with us on several work trips. These men had a wide variety of construction skills. They were able to roof houses, build handicap-accessible ramps, hang drywall, and multiple other tasks. Every summer these men would lead groups of eight to ten teenagers in doing a construction project on our youth mission trip. Students would request to work with these men. They were able to teach these young people things they would have struggled to learn on their own. It all began with asking senior adults who had time and abilities if they would be willing to join us in ministry. Those youth have gained skills that will benefit them long into the future and those senior adults were able to make an investment that will produce returns long after they are gone. When mature adults invest their time and talents in the next generation, their investment becomes a legacy that echoes into eternity.
Youth are able to provide senior adults with a window into contemporary culture and trends.
Technology has become a vital part of life. While many senior adults have to make fairly substantial adjustments to understand the emerging world, youth and young adults were born into it and are fluent in tech. As a young pastor I regularly had older adults calling to ask questions about the technology they were trying to integrate into their lives. After our first intergenerational activity, I noticed I was getting far fewer calls to explain or repair technology. One Wednesday evening as we were preparing for youth group, a senior adult came up and handed her iPhone to a youth in our group. She explained her issue and the youth promptly fixed the problem, explaining what she was doing and why, step-by-step. She then handed the phone to the senior adult and had her repeat the process. Examples like this abound. From technology, to social media, to terminology, youth are able to interpret the rapidly-changing world and provide a friendly face in a world that appears more and more threatening to those who don’t understand it.
Relationships with caring and mature adults help develop and strengthen faith in youth and young adults.
Research clearly demonstrates that youth are open to relationships with caring adults and that these relationships help foster faith that impacts daily living and lasts into the future. In their book Sticky Faith, Kara Powell, Brad Griffin, and Cheryl Crawford write, “Our research has shown that the more adult mentors seek out a student and help the student apply faith to daily life, the better.”1 And, in Soul Searching, researchers Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton note, “Teenagers would like to have significant relationships with adults in their congregations. The majority of teens who do not have such enjoyable and encouraging ties in their congregations say that they wish they did.”2 Intergenerational relationships provide benefit that extends well beyond the physical world in which we live. They provide connections of eternal and spiritual significance. There are two sides to this coin. Youth are able to learn and develop their faith by the example and teaching of senior adults, and senior adults are provided with a platform to continue living their faith in real time with youth.
Everyone wants to know that they matter. Everyone wants to do something with their lives that will make a difference. The local church has the unique opportunity to facilitate the development of relationships that help achieve these desired ends. It is up to us to hang the proverbial “Help Wanted” sign and create space in which relationships can develop and meaningful interactions can take place.
- Kara Powell, Brad Griffin & Cheryl Crawford. Sticky Faith: Practical ideas to Nurture Long Term Faith in Teenagers. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011, P. 15.
- Christian Smith & Melinda Lundquist Denton. Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers. New York, NY: Oxford University Press, 2005, P. 60.
